Discipline, Repentance, and Forgiveness!!

Posted by Jason Gilbert

Recently I posted about a 30 Day Challenge that I am working through!!  I am happy to report that it is still going well!!  What I didn’t go into a lot of detail with was what brought me to this reset point!!

It is not too much of a stretch to say that I had become lazy and that I had given up on myself a little bit.  I was actively cheating on my Keto diet, that my mom has worked so hard to prepare meals for and make things interesting for us!!  I ate these meals with my parents, but would then go behind their backs and eat other fast foods whenever I wanted and felt like I could get away with it.  Cheating became the norm, rather than the exception!!  It did start to slowly effect my body, my energy levels, and more.  I started gaining weight again but I couldn’t stop myself from this self destructive spiral.  On top of the crappy fast foods that I was eating, I also started drinking regular beer again.  What started out small became bigger over time and I was buying more beer, and sometimes binge drinking a bunch of it in one night.  I loved the feeling of the buzz and the consequences be damned!!  (Sorry for the language!!)

It all finally came to a head about 2 weeks ago when my mom discovered one of my beer cans and noticed that this was not the low carb non-alcoholic beer that I also drink sometimes.  No, this was regular beer that was anything but low carb.  My mom was upset and reasonably so!!  She called me out and said that if I wasn’t going to keep trying with this diet, then she wasn’t going to keep going to all the work of preparing these amazing keto meals!!  She asked me if I was just giving up!!  I didn’t have an answer for her at the time!!  I felt embarrassed and ashamed that I had let my mom down like that.  I also felt like I had let myself down and that I knew I could do better.

Cue my 30 Day Challenge!!  Rather than do like I have done before and have a pity party and stop trying with this diet altogether, I instead went the opposite direction and decided to try really challenging myself!!   As I have already shared, this 30 Day Challenge has been great for me and I am starting to feel a lot better about myself as a result!!  But that isn’t what this post is about.  I need to tell you about the discipline that I earned as a result of my dishonesty, my repentance for my wrong doings, and my forgiveness from my mom and my ability to forgive myself!!

So, after a discussion with a friend of mine that I trust completely, it was decided that what I had done was deserving of a sound spanking!!  I had to reluctantly agree with my friend that I did deserve some discipline for my dishonest and self destructive behavior!!  I knew the full extent of how bad cheating on the diet had become and how my little binges of drinking beer were not good for my health.  Especially for someone with a history of gut issues!!  So with the help of this good friend of mine, we discussed and she came up with a discipline routine that involved a sound spanking, some line writing, and making amends with my mom through an act of service for her!!

This has been an eye opening experience for me.  Up until now, spanking has just been something fun and exciting to write about, chat with others about, etc.   I feel like my eyes has started to open up to what might be available through real discipline in my life.  It both scares me, but is also something I desperately need!!

Discipline:

The actual spanking was much harder than I have ever previously given myself, but nowhere near a severe spanking.  Not even close!!  It was a good sound spanking and I think you will agree that it did test me at a few points, but it wasn’t too much!!  In fact, if anything looking back on the experience now, it probably wasn’t near enough for what I had done.  

What did it consist of?

Alternating between spanks to my bottom and spanks to my thighs and then ending with a full one-minute spanking without breaks.  I thought the last minute of solid spanking would be the worst part, by far, but it wasn’t.  The beginning smacks to both bottom and thighs were actually far worse than the last minute.  Not that the final minute was any picnic.  I did try my best to do a good job and was pretty pleased to see a pretty red bottom at the end of it!!

I know that I got off pretty easy and next time will likely be much different!!  It was good to have someone else to scold me and tell me what to do, but also how my actions really did hurt my mom and that I needed to be punished for them.  I am grateful for scolding that my friend gave me and it was as much a part of my discipline as the actual spanking was!!

Repentance:

Part of the discipline process was to write some lines.  I had to write 20 times, “my health is a gift to myself and to those who love me”.  This was a very effective part of the discipline process for a few different reasons.  One reason is that it gave me writers cramp, which in and of itself is a kind of punishment.  But far more importantly, it made me reflect on the words I was writing down.  It did start to make me appreciate that my health is a gift that I should not take for granted!!  It is my responsibility to take care of my body and treat it well, for my sake and for the sake of those who love me and want me around!!

I didn’t like doing the line writing much more than I liked the spanking, but it was effective and an important part of the process!!  I know that if my friend prescribes me discipline in the future, line writing will likely be a part of it, and I can definitely understand its benefits!!

Forgiveness:

Part of being able to move on was a sense of forgiveness.  I needed to reconcile to my mom in order to be right again and be able to move on.  I did this in a couple of steps.  Step one, I bought my mom flowers and a card.  Inside the card I had written a note of how much I love my mom and how much I appreciate all that she does to help prepare these meals for us.  I went on to apologize for cheating on the diet and not taking my health more seriously.  After my mom finished reading the card, mom and I shared a long loving hug!!   That alone made the whole thing worth it!!  I don’t tell my mom how much I love her near often enough!!

The last part of my forgiveness was an act of service.  Nothing too crazy, I just cleaned both bathrooms in our house today, vacuumed the whole house, and a few other chores that I know helps out my mom!!  These are things that I don’t mind doing, but I also know that my mom appreciates when they get done, especially without having to ask anyone!!

With this all concluded, I feel like I have paid for my wrongdoing and can truly forgive myself now!!  I can definitely see the benefits of being held accountable and disciplined when necessary!!  It isn’t just about the spanking, it is just as much about the repentance and the forgiveness that comes after it is over!!  And that makes it all worth it in the end!!

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Let’s Talk Spanking!!  I know this was a bit out of the norm on what I usually post about, but I thought it was important that I share it with you.  I am including the audio of the experience for you to listen to, even though it is a bit embarrassing.  This is actually part of my punishment as well and will help me be more mindful of my health in the future!!  Thanks for coming with me on this journey!!

Stay tuned for more of my traditional posts coming soon!!