Posted by Jason Gilbert
I decided to try out my new hairbrush, but as I don’t have a play partner, I had to do it myself. Not the same at all, but for the moment it is all that I have.
I took my friend Nora’s advice and gave myself a decently hard spanking, just to give a small taste of what a proper spanking might feel like. For those of you reading this that do get spanked by a partner or even a parent or some sort of authority figure, please know that what I experienced in no way even comes close to the spankings I am sure that you get. In a very strange way, it actually does leave me craving exactly that though; a good hard spanking that is out of my control.
So, what did I do, well I gave myself five whacks of the brush on each cheek, then five whacks per side on my thighs, then ten random smacks over my entire bottom. I did the best I could do but self spanking does not allow one to get the swing that someone else could deliver. It did sting a bit and is still sore as I sit here right now, but not that bad.
The part I probably actually hated the most out of what my friend Nora suggested that I do was the corner time. That sucked far worse than the spanking. I only did 10 minutes but it was so tedious and boring, which I guess is the point. Now, those that do have corner time can maybe comment here:
What is the purpose of corner time?
How long is a typical corner time?
What are you supposed to be doing during your corner time?
Anyways, it was a fun experience but it left me wanting more in more ways than one. The biggest way it left me wanting more is for someone else to be the one spanking me. There needs to be that exchange in power dynamic and without that, it is just very lacking. I still enjoy the sensation of a sore bottom afterwards, but to hand over control to someone else is truly what I desire.
Regardless, if you want to hear my thoughts as well as listen to my self spanking, I did record some audio of the experience. This way you can hear my thoughts about the experience in real time.
Here are the three audio files of my self spanking with my new hairbrush:
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It sounds like you learned a lot about what you really desire in spanking… the loss of control. For me, loss of control is key as well. I had hoped that by suggesting how you spank yourself, you might get more the experience than simply deciding for many swats yourself. As to corner time…YES! Isn’t it the worst!?!? In my Dynamic with Sir, he always gives me a prompt for corner time, which makes it more constructive (at least in my mind it does). For example, lets say he spanked me for missing a workout. One of the prompts he gave me for corner time in the past was something like… “think about the benefits to your mind and body from putting in a good workout. Remember why you set your workout goal in the first place. Think about what you’d like to say to me about recommitting to this workout goal. You will stand there for five minutes with your bare bottom facing the room while you think on this, young lady.” Having a prompt like this really helps make the discipline more memorable for me, versus just standing there with nothing to think about. If you do find a person willing to spank you one day, this might be something you discuss with this person to help make your discipline more constructive. Great post! Thank you for sharing with us how this went. Oh…and if you didn’t get tears in your eyes, you will need a re-do spanking… you obviously need a bit more, young man! 😉
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Wow…thanks for sharing Nora!! You touched on one of the things that I would likely want to be held accountable for, exercise. I don’t know how many times I have set out a goal of a least 3 times a week, minimum and I haven’t even started yet. I keep putting it off and putting it off, even though I know it is good for me and that I always feel better after a good workout. I have a feeling that if someone did hold me accountable for that, I would be getting spanked for not doing it a fair bit in the beginning. I know I can develop the habit, I just need help to get there.
I like the idea of thinking about something specific when doing corner time, that makes if feel far more meaningful to me.
I am definitely going to spank longer and harder next time. I am thinking a total of one hundred swats next time. I know that might sound excessive, but keep in mind that this is a self spanking. I can’t really get the same swing in there!! And no, I didn’t even come close to tears. I don’t know if I could spank myself to tears. Oh, I could make it really hurt, a lot, but that does not guarantee tears. I think, for me at least, without an emotional stake in the spanking, there is actually little chance I would cry from the tears alone. When I went and saw a dominatrix for a spanking, I wasn’t even close to tears. It hurt, but again, it was just a spanking for the sake of getting a spanking and lacked any emotion. Now, as a kid I cried each and every time I got spanked. Were those spankings more painful? No. Did I cry because I was a child being spanked? Yes. But did I also cry because I knew I had done something wrong? Yes, I would say so.
Spanking is so multilayered for me. Yes, I get a thrill about reading and writing spanking stories. Yes, I love to watch pretty girls/young women get spanked in spanking videos, etc. Would l like to spank a female someday? Sure. I am a heterosexual male. How could I not want to spank a pretty girl that consents for me to do so? But when it comes to my own spanking it is so different. I mainly crave and feel I need discipline in my life. Rules and consequences!! Accountability!! Part of me seeks to recreate the fear of being spanked and have it actually be something I want to avoid, at least in terms of discipline. I would be lying if I said that I don’t find the idea of getting a spanking exciting at all. As Jillian Keenan said about one of her real discipline spankings, that the spanking itself was 20 minutes of pure misery and was not fun at all, but the memory of it has led to numerous organisms for her. I strongly identify with that sentiment that a discipline spanking should be something that even spankos want to avoid if there are to be effective, but there is no rule that you can’t enjoy the memory of it after the fact…lol.
I guess it might be time to give the dating sites another try. I very much want to find someone that shares these desires. They are a part of who I am.
Thanks as always for your kind words Nora!! Look forward to more self spanking and reflection posts in the future!!
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