Online Dating – BEWARE of Scammers

Posted by Jason Gilbert

I got scammed very recently on one of those online dating sites, one that specifically caters to the BDSM culture.  Now, to be clear, it is not the fault of the website as they try to give people the tools to be informed and make good decisions online.  Unfortunately, I hadn’t read those recommendations yet and ended up getting taken for a ride, and not a fun ride either.

I subscribed to BDSM Contacts.com and was having a bit of success with getting some messages from the ladies.  I thought this was a good sign and I messaged many of them back, with the hopes of making a connection.  Well, it didn’t take long before one girl messaged me back and seemed genuinely interested in me.  We engaged in a bit of conversation, but she soon invited me to chat outside the website. 

Let me pause here for a second to offer a safety tip that I now know; Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT leave the site to chat with someone you have just met on one of these dating sites.  You might take it as genuine interest, but in reality they are looking to take you away from the safety of the website.  The support guy that I talked to at BDSM Contacts told me that they can track anything that is said on the site, so if there is suspicious activity on the site, they can elevate it to the appropriate levels.  If you leave the site to chat elsewhere, there isn’t much they can do.

Anyways, to get back to my story. This girl, Stephanie she said her name was, expressed interest in meeting me and she was almost too eager.  That is another sign that you might be getting scammed.  If anyone seems that eager to meet you when you have only been chatting for minutes, be very wary. 

Next Stephanie asked me if I had a PIV.  Well, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I asked her.  She explained it as a service for when you wanted to hook up with someone and make sure they were safe.  Well, this did make some sense to me so I agreed I would do it.  She sent me an email address for Administration for this company that provides this service.  Well, I contacted them and they sent me some info about it as well as the site where you could sign up and get your PIV.  Well, I went to this site and first it asked for payment details.  Apparently, it was $4.99 for this service.  Well, after trying to get it to go through multiple times, it would not work with my credit information.  So the support guy tells me to use either Western Union or Remitly.  Well, I was starting to get uncomfortable at this point.

The support guy sends me the info of how I am to send this info and what do you know, it is to some guy named Carlos in the Philippines.   Well, this smells like a scam already and I am about to back out.  The amount is for $250 and that just about clinched it.  If I was smart, I would have run for the hills at this point, but I didn’t.  I expressed my concern, both to the support guy and to Stephanie.  Well, Stephanie is so adamant that she wants to see me that she is willing to pay half of that price in order to help me get my PIV.

Well, long story short, I agreed, stupidly to do this.  This girl had her claws in me and I was naïve enough to believe that she really did want to meet me.  As a token of her trust, she sends me this nude photo of herself, which I never asked for, saying that she trusts me and really wants to be with me.  She already sounds like a bit of an obsessed girlfriend, but I was not thinking with my brain by this point.  I sent my half of the money via Remitly and she supposedly sent her half as well.

But this wasn’t the end of it.  They send me another message that they need me to get a prepaid card in order to link my account to hers.  This is starting to get really crazy as I haven’t even set up my account for my PIV at this point.  Well, I went to Walmart and got a card that they told me would work and I gave them the details for it and they sent me the link to set up my account, but it still wouldn’t work.  After messing around with it for a time, they said I would need to send them a money transfer via Remitly again for $200.  Well, that was the last straw (I know, I know, it shouldn’t have taken me that long) I told them I wasn’t sending them another dime.  I then asked them to return the money I had sent and that I wasn’t dealing with them anymore.  They told me I would have to send them a $50 cancellation fee to get my money back.  I refused and told them that I wasn’t sending them any more money.

So, at the end of the day I am out $125, but a lesson well learned.  First, to be safe and educated when dating online.  Second to think with your brain and not other parts of your anatomy.  I was so desperate to meet someone that shared my interests that I threw caution and all common sense out the window.  Shame on me!!

Anyways, I hope this has been helpful!!  Or at the very least, a funny story for those of you that already know better.  I still want to meet someone that shares these desires, but I need to protect myself and keep myself safe.  Thanks for reading!!  I do have more to say and more tips to stay safe online, but this post is plenty long enough.  Look for more on this topic soon!!

Also, I welcome your comments and suggestions when it comes to meeting people that share these desires.  It isn’t easy to meet someone that you want to date, but this is an important part of who you are and you want to share that with them.  If you have any questions about this experience I had, anything I can clarify, please ask.  And again, I welcome comments on this topic as I am very much a newbie in this arena, but I want to learn more and I really want to meet someone that I can share these desires with. 

Thanks for letting me rant!!